A few days ago I had a tea date with a friend who was passing through town. I blocked off an hour-and-a-half for our catch up date, but it was such good medicine to both of our souls, we ended up doubling our time together.
That got me thinking about the health benefits of friendship vs. kale. You know, kale is a bit of a glory hog these days, but I had to admit I don’t feel all giggly and happy after eating kale like I did after meeting with my gal pal.
The Wellness Showdown We Didn’t Know We Needed
We chop kale, we add it to smoothies, we feel slightly bulletproof (and maybe even a bit superior) when we eat it — because we’ve been told it’s one of the healthiest things we can do for our bodies. But what if there’s something even more powerful than leafy greens when it comes to our health in midlife? Something that doesn’t come in a salad bowl but walks beside us, talks us through hard days, and laughs with us until we *almost* pee our pants?
Spoiler alert: it’s friendship. And yes, science backs this up.
The Friendship Advantage: What the Science Says
Numerous studies — especially those summarized by researcher Julianne Holt-Lunstad at Brigham Young University — have found that strong social relationships are linked to a 50% increased likelihood of survival across time. In fact, the impact of social ties on mortality risk is comparable to quitting smoking, and more significant than exercising or maintaining a healthy weight. Wowza!
Loneliness is associated with elevated levels of stress hormones (like cortisol), increased inflammation, poor sleep, and even cognitive decline. Midlife women, especially those navigating career shifts, empty nests, or caregiving roles, can be vulnerable to social isolation — even when surrounded by people.
And here’s a zinger: Chronic loneliness has been shown to double the risk of dementia in older women.
Connection matters. Talking things through with a friend doesn’t just feel good — it literally lowers blood pressure and reduces the production of cortisol. It’s magic! No wait, it’s science! And laughter? Shared laughter releases endorphins, promotes bonding, and increases pain tolerance.
But Making Friends in Midlife Is… Hard. So Now What?
We’re going through so many changes in midlife, and oftentimes our social life takes a hit. Sometimes we find ourselves in a position of having to start over with making friends.
So yeah, it can be awkward. But it’s also worth it.
Here are a few ideas to prioritize connection like it’s a health habit:
- Attend religious services to interact with others who share your beliefs
- Schedule regular time with friends (coffee/tea? hiking day?)
- Join a group or start one (hiking group? book club?)
- Be the first to reach out
- Add connection to your self-care checklist
For midlife women, health isn’t just about what you eat — it’s about who you laugh with, cry with, and show up for. Because kale nourishes your body. But friendship? It strengthens your soul.
Don’t Just Eat Well. Connect Well
So yeah. Eat the kale. Whip it up in that smoothie. Chop it up and put it in a salad. But don’t forget to reach out and connect with an old friend… or a new one.
