I See You, Mom

I’m sitting here in a coffee shop, working on a few things, and I’m struck by our roles as moms.

Many of my readers are moms, but if you’re not, you ARE someone’s daughter or auntie or friend or teacher. So this is for you, too, because you are a caretaker of somebody, no doubt.

I see you. You’re sitting at a table near me; your baby is crying and you can’t quite figure out how to quiet her. Is she too hot? Too cold? Clothing is too tight? Hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? I’ve seen you on an airplane trip, too, I think. It feels like everyone is staring at you, judging. But you are the mama and you are doing the best you can for this child you so achingly love. Hang in there, lady. Keep being consistent, keep looking to meet her needs. You are a good mom.

I see you. You’re just down the window counter seating from me, trying hard to wrangle your rascally 3-year-old who is talking way too loud and is insatiably curious about everything. I see you trying to teach her manners and social awareness, while being attentive to her interests. She is learning so much about life because of you. You are a good mom.

I see you. You’re sitting with your teen boy. He’s quiet, looking at his phone, occasionally looking up to acknowledge when you’ve said something to him for the third time. He’s not trying to ignore you, Mama, he’s just trying to figure out who he is. That’s why he’s on his phone so much. My word, all the pressure coming his way from social media. He wants desperately to find his way in the world. He still needs you, even if he seems indifferent. Keep on loving him, even if he acts like he doesn’t hear you. He does hear you. You matter to him. Your little boy is growing into a man who, by the way, still needs his mama. You are a good mom.

I see you. You’re waiting in line while your teen daughter, who keeps adjusting her too-tight top, flipping her hair, and catching her own lovely reflection in the window. Does she know that you think she is lovely? This is a testing time for you, I can tell. Make sure you tell her you think she is beautiful, both outwardly and inwardly. She needs to know this and is constantly looking for approval. Make sure you’re the voice she hears the most. How wonderful you’re going to share a Friday lunch together. You are a good mom.

I see you. You’re sitting with your elderly mother, trying to keep conversation going with her, assisting her with her muffin, so she doesn’t choke. Getting old is hard. For her and for you. I know you probably have issues you’re walking through with your own children, and now you’re walking alongside your mother. What a blessing and incredible privilege. You are a good mom and you are a really good child.

I see you. You are a good mom.

What about you?

Do you know that you are a good mom?

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