I’ve recently returned from a quick sibling tour. It’s like an ’80s rock band doing a tour (road trip, lots of music, big hair), except way cooler because it involved getting to know my family more.
I have five siblings. We all share the same father, but three of us came from one mama, and the three younger are from my dad’s second marriage. I am the youngest of the first set. We didn’t grow up knowing our younger siblings until after our daddy passed away when I was in high school.
Perhaps it’s my age and stage in life (in my 50s with college-aged kids who are now trying out their wings and heading into the big world), but I’ve felt a yearning to connect more deeply with my family. My only objective on this trip was to get to know each of my sibs in a more profound way. To accomplish this end, I set off on a solo road trip to spend a couple of days one-on-one with each of them.
Armed with a rockin’ playlist, downloaded podcasts and tons of snacks for the car ride, plus a head full of questions, I set out. I asked things I’ve always wanted to know about my brother and sisters: What are your earliest memories? What was it like growing up in our family? What do you remember about me? How did/do things from your past impact your present?
Conversation flowed freely. Lots of laughs, a few tears, and plenty of late night discussions. Not only did I learn about each of them, but I also learned about myself and why I am the way I am.
Women in my same demographic will probably resonate with this. In fact, I just responded to an email from an old high school friend who weighed in with some of her family dynamics. We ’80s ladies may still have big hair (I kinda still do, thanks to freeze ‘n’ shine hairspray), but we see our family structures changing and it becomes all the more important to connect.
We are often the ones who become the historians and the glue for our families.
Now I know my peeps – my flesh and blood family – in a closer way. This trip has impacted my life and will continue to do so all my days.
And I’ll try to keep the big hair going for a bit longer.
What about you?
Do you have a desire to connect with your siblings or other family members? If they’re receptive, do it. You won’t regret it.
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